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Cancer the second time!

Get through being shot once. The gun is now reloaded and going to shoot me for the second time. You know what! Is it worse the second time? Ok so you know where you are headed, that can be good or bad because it the way you look at it. Ok the good, maybe I can get through this I have done it once before. The bad, omg 😲 I know this Road and it's really hard and really long, really shitty! I can't do this again can I??
Ok you all know that have been through this it's a machine gun going off.... that noise is deafening. I took a walk to see how my head was going. The tears started to fall by the millions, I am now more scared, my boys, my life! Helllll
The more I walked the more I cried, then I ran and so did more tears. Then I fell. I could hear everything but I couldn't absorb my thoughts. Was I walking to hell. I have been there before and it's not nice!
How to sugar coat Cancer.. you can't and you won't.
If why me didn't come screaming through my head over and over! I even looked up at the sky and screamed it. Eventually I couldn't scream anymore. Nothing would come out, I have to do this..,but I can't and I am so bloody scared.
Ever want the earth 🌏 to open up and swallow you! I begged for it over and over.
Gee can you believe July 2008 my life was grand but here we go again.....
Cancer I hate you, but with everything in my being I will fight you. You will not take me from this world like you took my mother. My boys need me. I refuse to leave!
I am still here! Don't know how! Don't know why! I must be stronger than I give any credit to myself.  Guess what I just learnt I am a fighter!
#fight #survivor #cancer #crying #nearlygaveup

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