Loosing your Mother Cancer - grieving nightmare

My mum has been gone now 18 years. Not a day goes past I still don't miss her and want to speak to her. Life is a weird thing we all rent this space only. Some of us will die young others live to be old or 100 if you are very lucky. Between accidents, disease or just in the wrong place at he wrong time it can all end.
As we grow up parents are the protectors of the family, when you loose one the other is totally lost. This has happened to me and my 2 sisters. Dad is certainly not the man he used to be. A soul mate comes along every now and then. I know my grief has been massive, I can only imagine the heart ache of losing your other half.
My mother lived 53 years only. Gee that's my age next birthday. It's not old at all.
When I lost my mother is was an all nighter no sleep she slipped into a coma and never woke, it all happened very quickly. Dad was the only one allowed in as she was in intensive care. My sisters and I on top of no sleep lots of stress started to fight and argue. Looking back regrets and lack of sleep haunted us that night. In the darkness of the night and into the morning. I grabbed my bag and just ran. It's Wahroonga Sydney I don't have a clue where to go. All I know is there is a shell on the main road. So that's where I head. Crying, running, feeling alone helpless, scared to death. Panicking bag in hand. I get there and use the mobile phone to ring my friend Tracey, she works night shift I know she is awake. It's around 2 am now! After awhile I head to the corner to sit to wait for my family to come get me. In the mean time a guy pulls up asks me if I need a lift I say no it's ok. He got out of the car and tried pull me into his car. I hit him with my bag and ran.... more crying not the best of nights at all. Then Dad pulls up down the road I get into car. I didn't know that the shell petrol operator had seen but he called the police, more drama what a nightmare. Just after 6 am Mum passed away. There was a 9 month depressed state for me. I just couldn't function at all: grieving is hard everyone copes differently. There is no wrong or no right, just take your time. I feel for all the people that have lost one or both parents. The circle of life is normal. But it hurts a lot. #greiving #death #cancer

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