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Double Mastectomy 4 years ago today....



I am really proud that 4 years ago on the day I would have been being prepared for surgery. It was quoted as an 11 hour surgery in the end they were worried about knocking me out that long and it was a near 8 hour surgery with 4 surgeons not 2.
On this morning a small part of me was so afraid I may die in surgery, I am not sure how emotional and afraid I was as I was trying be tough and stronge and joke about it. Deep down a scary part of me was praying that I would be ok.
I wrote some letters in that small time before surgery and allocated someone to deliver them if I died. They said about how much I love my children, how much I care and love all my family, my x, my sisters and my friends.
When I woke from the surgery I had the deepest joy, tears of happiness lost a set of E cup breasts weighing 4.4kg. They were donated to science both of them. I was so happy see my wonderful boys when I woke up I was a little off my head from all the morphine. I believe I was talking funny crazy and laughing..........I said YAY I woke up I was so happy even looking down to see my boobs gone, I was so happy just  to be here.....

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