Preparing for chemotherapy not easy

Preparing for a chemotherapy roller coaster. No way you can prepare for this sadly. When I was diagnosed the second time I was like no..... can't possibly do that.
For me choosing the double mastectomy was paramount. Silly me thought I would dodge a bullet no chemo, my Doctor - Doctor Robilliard was a small stature grey haired balding man. He had a stronge direct personality. Some people hated him and some loved him. Me, I thought his way was good for me.
Sitting in the office that afternoon expecting to hear you don't need chemo, I was absolutely sure I had avoided that talk.
Nope! He says to me urgently need to start chemo. 2 different types on the same day~~ WTF
In shock I say ohhhh no way am I going to do that again. I still have nightmares from the first time.
Tears now in my eyes. I want the floor to open up and swallow me!!!
He says in a year when it's everywhere and you are begging me to save you. What shall I say!!!
Ohhhh crap
My response arghhh ok when do we start.
You know in the know in the movies 🎥 when they do slow motion. That's right a slow motion bullet hit me. Pretty sure it went through me and I couldn't do a think about it.
Then you remember all the memories from when I was just 24 fighting stage 4 cancer with 8 weeks to live. No where to run no where to hide, I am trying to run legs aren't moving just frozen.
Help help is this really happening!!!!'
#chemotherapy #nightmates #secondgo #twicesurvivor #cancer #iamstillawoman #runnning

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