I guess when you enter the realm of a life threatening battle. You can tip over to the other side. Its very hard to understand why we get ill. It's hard to face telling loved ones and friends and of course the internal battle...HOW WILL I COPE, what if I die and leave my kids with no mother???
Its normal to be afraid, its normal that we must actually grieve. All humans deal differently and thats ok. We must allow ourselves to go through the time to process, the if's and the but's and the denial. I am terrible with denial. Because I think, its not going to happen to me. Even when the tests started coming back bad. I said to myself its a mistake don't be afraid. Then you get hurt more because in the eternal place of I am ok they are wrong, it becomes dark and scary. You know they are right.
Not sure how to describe this, but its like falling in a hole and its muddy and you are trying to climb out because you know you can. But the mud keeps making you slip back in deeper and deeper the mud rises and you think you will drown.....You fight it seems deeper! I am scared now, but I must get out of this hole, I really don't want to drown..I am horrible at asking for help....But I am screaming HELP ME PLEASE.....why me????
Its normal to be afraid, its normal that we must actually grieve. All humans deal differently and thats ok. We must allow ourselves to go through the time to process, the if's and the but's and the denial. I am terrible with denial. Because I think, its not going to happen to me. Even when the tests started coming back bad. I said to myself its a mistake don't be afraid. Then you get hurt more because in the eternal place of I am ok they are wrong, it becomes dark and scary. You know they are right.
Not sure how to describe this, but its like falling in a hole and its muddy and you are trying to climb out because you know you can. But the mud keeps making you slip back in deeper and deeper the mud rises and you think you will drown.....You fight it seems deeper! I am scared now, but I must get out of this hole, I really don't want to drown..I am horrible at asking for help....But I am screaming HELP ME PLEASE.....why me????
Hi David,
ReplyDeleteHi you are welcome email me at ninamccurley@hotmail.com anytime. Sorry for the delay in getting back to you.
Nina