I am not sure how to put this into words. Have you ever used the word terror? I hadn't but I think when your life has been threatened twice beyond your control it is a valid word.
Terror - from Latin terror meaning "great fear", a noun derived from the Latin verb terrere meaning "to frighten" Great Fear - not much scares me really, "I might die before my time I have cancer again" Well here we go now I am scared. I think most cancer people would agree that in that instance the world should stop. Because I am scared and I don't want the world to keep moving..STOP let me out of here. I am so scared, I don't want to die. You know we have a very powerful mind, it goes on and on. It can survive almost anything, but we should never ever give up. Its like a war in my body. If someone punched me for no reason I would punch them back. I guess now you have a war - You VS Cancer. Cancer is evil, it will put up a big attack, attack back..It's not going to be easy. War never is. I found things to make me happy tried to keep my mind in a great place. I rested to let my body heal when I could, I tried to still go out with my friends when I could. Really I wanted to just go - OK YOU WIN..way too hard. But watching my children I did realise they need me and I need them, I have to be here. You want a fight...LOOK OUT here I come...no mercy cancer, you started this...
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